Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
