I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
