You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
