Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
