i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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