My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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