end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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