Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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