either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize