Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
