spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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