Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
