I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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