just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How external is "for external use only"?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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