he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
