I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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