im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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