cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
