Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
