I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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