just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
