Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
