you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
a search helicopter?!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
