I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
