Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
