if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My penis needs a shock collar
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
