Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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