i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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