We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
only you would photoshop your dick
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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