In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish I only lived at night.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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