Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
