you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
