i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
