I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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