I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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