Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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