how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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