Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
