I love black thongs
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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