We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
