I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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