Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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