i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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