You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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