We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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