Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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(352): View more from Florida

Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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(519): View more from Ontario

I wish they made people sized litter boxes.

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(544): View more from

I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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(845): View more from New York

finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!

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(517): View more from Michigan

Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.

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(650): View more from California

she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".

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