White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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