his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
