We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
