Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize