I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
