Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
