I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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