how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Houston, we have a blender
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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