I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
