he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Girls should come with a carfax report
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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