remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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