I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
