WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
