I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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