She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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