Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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