She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
